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I started to think about this when I made a list of 60 things I want to do, which includes casual sex, in this year following my 60 th birthday.

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I have read the cautions. We are women who have earned the right to do the things that please us without worrying about public censure.

Not long ago, I enjoyed dinner with a nice guy. He is a bit younger and seems likely to have the kind of outlook on sex and sexuality that mirrors mine. We went out for drinks and dinner to discuss work, his and mine.

Who we are

The evening was a delightful mix of business related talk mingled with personal observations about male and female sexuality. At some point during the second or third cocktail, I made a casual reference to having sex and he gave a positive response. I heard him, but chose to not pursue the matter further. I just laughed and moved on.

After dinner, we took a cab back to my hotel. I was a little surprised when he decided to come in with me. He wanted to continue our conversation.

I’m into older women—like, in their 70s

We opted for my hotel room. We simply talked.

Again, I failed to act. I have to admit that I still think about that night. Did I miss an opportunity?

Was he politely waiting to see what I wanted? Had the idea been on my mind before dinner, the evening might have turned out differently.

The idea has brought up questions for me about the societal notion of how we approach sex and intimacy. Why not have more casual sex? If the feeling is mutual, is there any reason not to make a choice to engage in something pleasurable? If both parties are open and direct with clear expectations, the risks are nominal. Typically, men do the pursuing while women wait to be approached.

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I see no reason for women to suppress or deny their sexual desires just to keep the status quo. Men act on their sexual desires all the time.

You need to be prepared to have the necessary conversations and be willing to embrace a little vulnerability. Trust and safety are very important. If you are going to pursue casual sex with someone you might not see again, you need to know what you want from the experience and any possible challenges that might arise.

Mutual consent and lots of conversation about expectations is mandatory. Protection is also mandatory, for the benefit of both parties, to minimize the risk of sexually transmitted infections. The thing that is harder to plan for is any unexpected emotions that may come up during or after the sexual experience. Are you going to feel guilty?

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Can you get naked with a relative stranger? Baring all, literally and figuratively, requires one to be careful in choosing a partner. Informed choices are always a good idea. Why should that be any different when it comes to how we seek our sexual pleasure?

My conclusion? We can pursue sex if the idea appeals to us. We can talk about what we want and we can ask for it.

Where do i pick them up?

If ever there were ever a time in life to defy convention, to live a little wildly, this would be it. What about you?

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My almost casual sex experience

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