CaylaWrite a message
- My age:
- I am 32
- Where am I from:
- Eye tone:
- I’ve got soft gray-green eyes
- What is my Sign of the zodiac:
- Figure type:
- My figure type is slim
- Surfing the net
Hot and understanding. The other day a friend sent me the quote above and asked, "Do guys really want the Cool Girl? Being a Bro There is a massive assumption that all men desire a woman with whom they could bro-out. The woman who not only knows the ins-and-outs of football but has a favorite team, and was raised with undying loyalty to them which implicates, incidentally, that they would show similar loyalty to their boyfriend. Not so. Not all men love football, for one.
The Great Chill Massacre of was not premeditated. I killed what little Chill I actually had and I shed no tears for it. To the uninitiated, having Chill and being cool are synonyms.
5 ways being the 'chill' girl could ruin your chances of finding love
They describe a person with a laid-back attitude, an absence of neurosis, and reasonably interesting tastes and passions. But the person with Chill is crucially missing these last ingredients because they are too far removed from anything that looks like intensity to have passions. They have discernible tastes and beliefs but they are unlikely to materialize as passionate.
Passion is polarizing; being enthusiastic or worked up is downright obsessive.
She likes him far too much and lets it show. Chill is different — it is agreeable because it is emotionally vacant. Chill is what Cool would look like with a lobotomy and no hobbies.
And for a large subset of the population, Chill is one of the most desirable qualities in a romantic prospect. I am originally from San Diego where Chill was as much a part of our culture as burritos and surfing and lifted Toyota Tacoma trucks. It was an insistence on going with the flow, rolling with the punches.
Most of these descriptions describe the act of chilling, which is either hanging out or smoking weed, and sometimes both. The others describe being chill, an adjective to describe being calm, laid back, or relaxed. These definitions are deceptively simple ways of asking people to have fewer strong emotions.
Do men really want the 'cool girl?'
Early adopters of the sexual liberation and drug culture in the s had a prototype for Chill in their sexual mores and free spirits. But this kind of Chill still had an emotional dimension. An open relationship is, after all, still a relationship. To even acknowledge that there might be an emotional dimension to talking or dating or hanging out or coming over or fucking or whatever the kids are calling it all these days feels forbidden.
An anxious person tries to be chill
It is a game of chicken where the first person to confess their frustration or confusion loses. But Chill is not the opposite of uptight.
It is the opposite of demanding ability. Chill suggests that young love is best expressed as competitive ambivalence. Chill takes and never gives.
Chill is pathologically unfeeling but not even interesting enough to kill anyone. Chill is a garbage virtue that will destroy the species.
Fuck Chill. As is evident by now, I have Net Zero Chill.
In recent years, “chill” has become one of the most desirable qualities in a romantic prospect. but it is a garbage virtue that will destroy the species.
Anyone with real Chill would never do something so erratic and shrill as capitalize the first letter of the word. Because that is making it a thing.
And people with Chill do not make anything a thing. I routinely happen upon men who are perplexed when I eventually declare that I want to know where we stand. Indecision is not a noble virtue. My feelings, and the feelings of many people I know, are more hurt by the prolonged waiting for a concrete answer while we sit quietly with our feigned Chill.
My aim is not to force everyone to return in lock-step to monogamous relationships that begin after exactly 8. Such relationships are not for everyone. I am a firm believer that everyone ought to exercise their God-given right to use Tinder in whatever fashion is most suitable for their present relationship goals or lack thereof.
But it ought to be acknowledged that the two of us are not, in fact, just chilling when we get together. So, ladies and gentleman and people who do not believe in the binary, we have reached peak Chill. Or at least I hope we have.
Because Chill is the opposite of something else too: warmth. And kindness, and earnestness, and vulnerability. And we need just enough of those things to occasionally do something so remarkably unchill as fall in love.
Your data. your experience.
But it is a garbage virtue that will destroy the species. Alana Massey Follow. Matter The original flagship publication of Medium. Sex Chill. The original flagship publication of Medium. Written by Alana Massey Follow. More From Medium.
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